The Blog
The Couple’s Code: Miraculous Recovery for Relationships on the Brink
Building Trust in a Relationship
We talk a lot in about trust in relationships. We all know it's important. But it's SO important that--as Dr. John Gottman’s research shows--we could accurately say that lack of trust is at the root of virtually all relationship problems. The questions at stake are:...
Fairness in Relationships: How to Get Past Score-keeping
Countless relationship problems come from perceptions of unfairness. It may be about housework, affection, or even communication styles. If one partner feels like things aren’t fair, resentment builds and erodes the flow of love. I’m a big advocate of keeping things...
Expressing Yourself with Integrity: 6 Ways to Communicate with Respect and Honesty
Expressing your true self is required for an honest, close relationship. (You must have a good relationship with yourself first--see my blog on getting real with yourself ). Once you are in full awareness of your real feelings and desires, the next step towards...
Projection in Relationships: Stop it from ruining your connection
“The particular egoic patterns that you react to most strongly in others and misperceive as their identity tend to be the same patterns that are also in you, but that you are unable or unwilling to detect within yourself.” ~Eckhart Tolle from A New Earth Does this...
What Makes a Good Relationship: 6 Keys to Creating the Love You Desire
The myth of the perfect relationship still persists. We imagine happy couples radiating calm and soothing light, communicating with love and respect at all times, and engaging in a mutual and fulfilling path of spiritual enlightenment. Sometimes it’s hard to remember...
Holiday Stress: 5 Easy Steps to Protect Your Relationship
The holidays can be notoriously stressful. Couples with busy lives have to juggle multiple and often-conflicting obligations. There are presents to buy, decorations to hang, and events to attend or prepare for. It's supposed to be fun, but many people can't wait for...
Relationship Killers: 4 Things to Eliminate and 5 Alternatives
Have you ever been in a relationship that seemed like “the one” but then later-- in spite of great love and good intentions--it died? It’s tragic that potentially exceptional relationships are thwarted by old habits and behaviors. So if you are in a relationship that...
Reflective Listening: A Deeper Look
Usually when we imagine good communication, we think about how to most effectively (and without harm) get across our point. We plan what we want to say, how we want to say it, and get clear on our intentions. That's because we know that listening is important. I mean,...
Healthy Relationships: How to Achieve a State of Unity
Entering into unity with your partner--what Dr. Charlotte Kasl calls “the usness place”--is the 4th and most evolved stage of healthy relationships. Only after we have achieved honesty with ourselves, expressed ourselves with integrity, and fully received our partner,...
Receiving Your Partner: 3 Ways to Transform through Acceptance
Over the last two weeks, I have been laying out the 4 pillars of truly healthy relationships. The first two pillars are Self-Knowledge and Integrated Self-Expression. Once we have been honest with ourselves and our partners, we are ready to deepen our intimacy with...